There is a big difference between saying, “I’m sorry if I hurt you,” and saying, “I’m sorry I hurt you. I realize now that it was my insecurity that produced such bad behavior. I have really prayed about this, and I believe God is showing me how I can avoid doing that again. Will you forgive me?” Confession at this level is so countercultural for so many reasons that it is hard to know how to begin to talk about it; however, to stop short of confession is to stop short of the deepest levels of transformation.
Barton, R.Ruth. Sacred Rhythms : Arranging Our Lives for Spiritual Transformation. IVP Books, 2006.
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